Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar – Kelly Oxford

Jun 11

Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar – Kelly Oxford

I maybe have a small sized non-gay crush on Kelly Oxford after reading her book. I was introduced to Kelly Oxford a few years ago when I joined Twitter. My brother Casey had been Tweeting for awhile, and he sent me a few names to follow. He and I have similar tastes in humor; he thought I would enjoy her acerbic wit. Well done, Casey. I was super stoked when I found out Ms. Oxford was coming out with a book last Spring. Her book reads like a dirty little diary. She could be classified as the cool girl you want to hang out with, the girl who always finds adventure and makes life a little more exciting on a daily basis. I related to several of her almost-a-Dateline-cautionary-tale stories. My best friend and I sometimes marvel at the fact we made it through high school and college alive. Kelly describes a van she and her friend bought on a stoned whim as “100 percent rapey.” Her first date with her now husband resulted in a hate crime due to a bad haircut.
As a woman who does not want children, the Zoo chapter and the chapter about Disney were Stephen King-type tales for me. Kelly is cool enough to know about Lil Wayne and T-Pain; but not able to distinguish the two. The most expertly drawn out drama was the Vegas chapter. Ms. Oxford expertly weaves a tale of intrigue peppered with every pop culture reference imaginable. I assume when she writes about doing her Wheelchair Jimmy dance for Drake that it probably looks eerily similar to the Cat Daddy. The climax at the strip club had me laughing until I had tears rolling down my face.
Kelly Oxford is equal parts model, asshole, and story teller. Or maybe she is just making it all up.
Either way, grab this book, head to the pool, and be entertained.

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